Tuesday, April 19, 2005

He makes criminals go bananas! (stupid joke sorry)

From My Way News:

MESA, Ariz. (AP) - The Mesa Police Department is looking to add some primal instinct to its SWAT team. And to do that, it's looking to a monkey.

"Everybody laughs about it until they really start thinking about it," said Mesa Officer Sean Truelove, who builds and operates tactical robots for the suburban Phoenix SWAT team. "It would change the way we do business."

Truelove is spearheading the department's request to purchase and train a capuchin monkey, considered the second smartest primate to the chimpanzee. The department is seeking about $100,000 in federal grant money to put the idea to use in Mesa SWAT operations. The monkey, which costs $15,000, is what Truelove envisions as the ultimate SWAT reconnaissance tool.

Since 1979, capuchin monkeys have been trained to be companions for people who are quadriplegics by performing daily tasks, such as serving food, opening and closing doors, turning lights on and off, retrieving objects and brushing hair. Truelove hopes the same training could prepare a monkey for special-ops intelligence.

Weighing only 3 to 8 pounds with tiny humanlike hands and puzzle-solving skills, Truelove said it could unlock doors, search buildings and find suicide victims on command. Dressed in a Kevlar vest, video camera and two-way radio, the small monkey would be able to get into places no officer or robot could go.

Remember how I said yesterday that the new guard is more attuned to rapid progress? Well, there you have it. (Unless using animals to do human work is not considered progress. Except, I can't think of a single people-group prior to 1969 that used animals to do work more efficiently. Nope, not even one. Progress it is!)

In any event, I think we should have a whole menagerie of animals in law enforcement. We can use rhinos to batter down doors, we can send in police panthers which are faster than dogs, we can have police falcons snatch weapons from the hands of crooks, and we use police killer whales for the harbor division.

Can any of you think of any uses for animals in law enforcement?


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