Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Great Use of Resources

This is a fantastic story out of Austria:

VIENNA - An Austrian politician has a novel idea for cracking down on people who don’t clean up after their dogs. A council member in Vienna proposes a DNA registry for dogs, so their droppings can be tested. People who fail to clean up their dogs’ droppings would be fined and charged for the DNA analysis. Vienna’s sidewalks are littered with dog droppings, and campaigns to get dog owners to clean up have made little headway. Dog owners already can be fined if they don’t pick up after their dogs, but tickets are rarely issued because the pet has to be caught in the act. The proposal isn’t likely to get very far. The governing Social Democrats have dismissed the idea, saying it would create a “police state.”
Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.

Is there really such an abundance of resources and time in Austria that they want to DNA test dog poop in order to ticket dog owners? What planet is this?

I've posted other stories about putting up cameras around town or just generally being in favor of Big Brother keeping an eye on all you hooligans out there, but even someone like myself can only marvel at the sheer inanity of poop testing. Not only is the idea inane but the dog owner would be charged for the cost of the DNA testing. I'm sure that's not cheap! How fair is that! And anyway, how are they going to keep a registry of every doggie DNA in Austria? The logistics are staggering.

In the good ol' US of A, you probably couldn't do this because unless it's a felony, you have to personally witness the crime in progress in order to make an arrest or give a ticket. There's no way you could claim that the crime occurred in your presence if you have to DNA test it.

In any case, for you Austrians out there, if you want to avoid prosecution, just carry a bottle of bleach or battery acid and bathe the feces in it in order to destroy the DNA. Problem solved!

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(HT to Crim Prof Blog)

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