Monday, May 02, 2005

The State Babysitters

So, I went on a ride-along on Saturday with my dad. If you don't know, a ride-along is when you get to ride in the front seat of a cop car and follow the officer around while he patrols. You get to see the real cops instead of reel cops (get it?). Anyway, we had a good time cruising the fair city, making life better for all creatures great and small. But I noticed something that hadn't occurred to me before for some reason.

A very large amount of people are childish idiots.

I mean, I've always known that many people are jerks, but try going on a ride along for a few hours. Your faith in the basic goodness of all people will be decapitated and buried in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks. Custody disputes are the worst. Seemingly normal grown men and women act like bickering schoolchildren. They call the police at the drop of a hat trying to screw over their ex in any way possible. Then they put on their little brave face and talk about just trying to make it out there and not wanting any trouble and the like.

Then you get the guy that hits his wife and then he calls us and has us come out to "make sure nothing happens" because he thinks that if he calls, we won't be able to go after him. I'm not even a cop and I've been out on like three calls like that! Who does he think he's fooling?

I don't even need to get into the racism nonsense. A guy could be standing in middle of Hollywood Blvd covered in blood holding a severed head and he will still accuse you of racial profiling.

But moreso than people being jerks to cops or using cops to be jerks, a lot of calls are just because people are jerks on their own. People are brutal to each other, and for no reason. Many of them spend all day thinking of ways to screw over their fellow man. I'm not even talking about robberies or car thefts. I'm talking about shady car dealerships who sell people cars and then reposses them in the middle of the night with no warning or notice. I'm talking about guys locking their wives out of the house. I'm talking guys in their mid-twenties seducing high school girls. Guys who steal stuff from drunk vagrants. Teenagers playing "pranks" like smashing windows, throwing stuff into traffic, or anything else that could seriously hurt someone.

It's like, if you are going to be a jerk, at least have the deceny to be enough of a jerk to go to state prison for awhile. Don't just be a small time jerk that ruins people's days every once in awhile. Be enough of a jerk that we can teach you a powerful lesson.

At one point, I was starting to think "Damn, am I devoting my life to babysitting childish adults?". But then I realized, with a smile, "No, I am devoting my life to making life miserable for childish adults! And teenagers too!"

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